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 Birth & Perinatal Debriefs

When you talked about your birth experience in the past, you glossed over the details. Or maybe you shared some of your story, but you felt like nobody truly understood how you felt or how much it impacted you. How much it’s still impacting you.

You don’t want to be someone who had a difficult or traumatic birth experience, because deep down it feels like a failure.

So, you keep pushing through each day. You focus on the fact that you have a healthy baby and that you are both okay. And you are genuinely so grateful for this. But it’s not enough. And you don’t want to say that it’s not enough, but something doesn’t feel right. You are not okay.  And you don’t know how you will ever fully recover from what you went through.

It’s so hard to make sense of what happened. There were parts that were so overwhelming and now there is so much emotion left behind. Guilt, disappointment, grief, sadness, fear, anger, rage, resentment.

Those feelings are all sitting there, just beneath the surface some days. And you worry about how they impact your relationships, your parenting and your sense of self.

Sometimes you feel numb and disconnected. And maybe the memories of what you experienced are hazy, but the feelings are not. They are there and they can be intense.

The thought of having another baby feels so scary. Because you really don’t want to go through that again. You’re not sure you can go through that again.

Because you feel like the last time broke you and there are parts of you that are still broken.

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You may have unresolved feelings about pregnancy loss, a long and difficult fertility journey, a pregnancy that was full of challenges or a postpartum that feels deeply overwhelming.

 

All parts of your story matter.

Why access a birth debrief?

Birth can be a deeply overwhelming experience. Even if your birth was considered to be straightforward or 'textbook', you might have experienced significant emotional distress. Each person will have a unique reason for accessing debriefing, and many include:

  • The negative impact of having multiple care providers 
  • Instrumental births
  • Medical interventions including induction of labour
  • Long difficult labour
  • Emergency caesarean section
  • Inadequate pain relief
  • Emergency scenarios including fear for yourself, your baby or your partner
  • Complications such as postpartum hemorrhage or infection
  • Physical injuries sustained in birth including tears, pelvic floor damage or e
  • Feeling alone and unsupported
  • Feeling pressured to make decisions
  • Loss of control over your birth experience 
  • Interactions with healthcare professionals that felt dismissive or invalidating
  • Poor communication 
  • Separation from baby post birth
  • Special care nursery or NICU admission for your baby
  • Retriggering of previous traumatic experiences

You want to move on, but you feel stuck.


You keep coming back to the birth story and it feels unresolved. You replay details over and over and think that maybe it's your fault that things turned out this way. Maybe you should have done something differently. You feel guilty and like you let yourself and everyone else down. You feel grief and sadness and you can't quite believe that things have turned out this way. You didn't expect everything to go so wrong and for this to be so hard.

You think that you just need to get over it. That this is what birth and motherhood is, and that you just need to keep pushing forward. That time will make you forget.

You think that you just need more sleep. That maybe it's your hormones and you are just being emotional. But maybe it's something more. Maybe this experience has changed and shaped you in ways that you can't even fully make sense of.

You've tried talking to others about your experience but they either don't understand or give you unhelpful advice. Or maybe you just simply don't get the space to feel truly witnessed and seen.

Because how can nobody see how hard that was and how much you struggled?

Is your experience still impacting you?

Many parents who come for birth and perinatal debriefing are still feeling the impacts weeks, months and often years later. If you have had a birth or other experience that was emotionally distressing or traumatic, then it might be still showing up for you in some of these ways:

  • Feeling disconnected from those around you 
  • Struggling to bond with your baby
  • Irritability or feeling on edge 
  • Flashbacks or intrusive thoughts
  • A sense of guilt or failure
  • Feelings of loss or grief 
  • You avoid reminders of the birth such as the hospital you birthed at
  • Resentment towards people who didn't support you
  • Relationship stress including physical intimacy
  • Loss of parenting confidence
  • Fear and anxiety when you consider having another baby
  • Hypervigilance around your baby's well-being
  • Anger and rage
  • A loss of trust in yourself or your body
  • A lack of trust in the medical system
  • Feeling isolated and alone

Birth debriefing is not just talking about what happened. It's also about understanding how it's still impacting you and finding ways to reduce that impact. Because you don't have to keep struggling without support.

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Hi, I'm Bec.

And I'm here to create a space that finally allows you to be truly seen in motherhood. I'm here for the women who are feeling invisible and like nobody sees how much they carry. 

I have 10 years of experience working as a perinatal mental health nurse, providing counselling and evidence based treatment to women and families going through some of the hardest and most vulnerable times of their lives.

I'm also a mum who experienced traumatic birth, and the healing that can be offered through debriefing and counselling. This, combined with my professional experience, means I have a deep understanding of the things that mums go through.

My Approach

The work that I do with you is not about medicalising you or pathologising your experience. It's about seeing you as an individual with so many strengths, acknowledging how much you are carrying and recognising what you've been through. I bring with me a deep understanding of the systemic issues that contribute to birth trauma, perinatal mental illness and the shame that so many women carry.

My approach is unique and trauma informed. I use a range of modalities including cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and non-directive counselling. 

I'm also guided heavily by attachment theory and the Circle of Security approach to help you develop a secure attachment with your child.

After 10 years of working as a perinatal mental health professional, I approach this work with a deep respect and understanding of the complexity of your experience as a mother. It is an honour to walk beside you. 

What will the session be like?

You deserve to have the space to tell your story in the way that you want to tell it, without having to downplay how truly difficult it was. You deserve to be truly seen and witnessed instead of feeling like nobody sees what you went through.

Going to therapy can feel daunting, and many people put it off because of this.

I want you to know I get it. And as someone who has accessed my own birth debriefing, I know it feels scary. I know that you are worried about being judged and that your trust in healthcare professionals might have been broken in the past. I know that you are worried about being seen as bad mum (you're not).

You might not even know where to start or exactly what you want to talk about. But you don’t need all the answers to come to therapy. You just need to be willing to start the process. And to listen to that voice inside that says something isn’t quite right.

We will go gently, at your pace. At the start of our session we'll talk about important things like confidentiality, your goals for our work together and how I can support you.

I'll also ask you some background information so I can get a sense of who you are. You do not have to provide any information that you don't feel comfortable sharing.

We will then unravel the parts of your story that feel important to you. And together we will help you to see them in a new light. To develop a new understanding of your story and to help you let go of what feels unresolved. 

So that you can stop just going through the motions and pushing through. All the while feeling a little bit disconnected because you still have this shadow hanging over you.  

Because it is possible to move forward and heal from your experience. 

To create space for a deeper connection to yourself and to find your identity again.

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FEES

$209 for 90 mins

All sessions are online via secure video call

Individual or couples

All birth debriefing sessions include a detailed written summary which will be emailed to you following your appointment.

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Medicare Rebates 

Find out how to access Medicare Rebates here

CANCELLATION POLICY

Please note that 48 hours notice is required for cancellations. Cancellations and rescheduling within 48 hours of your appointment will incur a 50% fee - I thank you for your understanding with this.